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Male Psychosexual Problems
Male Sexual Problems can hamper an individuals life if not resolved, and can often be of a psychosexual nature. The list below is by no means an exhaustive list. If you’re unsure, please get in touch with me to find out how I can help you.
Sometimes the person suffering from Exhibitionism has a need to shock people, there may also be a deep rooted reason for this behaviour and it can stem from a dislike of themselves and it may be that they are looking for validation.
This behaviour can be helped by employing the help of a trained professional, it is important that you recognise that it won’t go away on it’s own.
Sexual Addiction or Obsession:
Apparent Addiction: Many times sexual addiction is actually sexual obsession; there is a possibility that there will be a small difference.
Females suffering from this usually pursue every opportunity to be part of some sexual activity and they are always after greater gratification. She will find different ways to be aroused and to climax, even if it means pushing boundaries and going as far as bestiality.
Threesomes, Group sex and Swinging or Partner Swapping is usually something that is part of her usual activities if given the opportunity. A fascination of other people’s sexual interactions and sex lives will create a need for her to know every single detail. This is usually because she hopes to find a thrilling, new and exciting experience she can try herself.
Sexual Obsession/Addiction responds well — recidivism is to be expected. It can be eased, only if you truly want it to be sorted out.
Post – Coital Depression:
PCD is one of the common Male Sexual Problems but some females suffer too. Sometimes people actually don’t realize that it is a problem.
“Le Petit Mort” literally means “Little Death” (the French coined the term), it most likely refers to a sensation that some male sufferers experience. Sufferers tend to feel withdrawn and disinterested in almost everything. They sometimes feel a deep sadness or agitation after consensual intercourse.
It has been noted in some instances that people tend to cry or become depressed afterwards, some even become argumentative. Regardless if the encounter was enjoyable, these feelings will present themselves.
The response is probably caused by an increase in blood Prolactin level (prolactin is released into the blood stream by the A.N.A (Autonomic Nervous system), as a response to sexual climax which is known to increase the likelihood of feelings of depression in most individuals.
If the depressed mood is severe or long lasting maybe having a noticeable negative effect for a period over an hour or so, it is unlikely that therapy will make any noticeable change. It is often the case that the real problem is the BELIEF that something is wrong and should be ‘sorted out’.
It is rare, but can occur that suicidal thoughts/feelings or depression that seems to get ‘stuck’ for some time may be noticed, for which therapy is needed. In these circumstances, a further medical examination is needed as well, even though there may already have been such a consultation.
Post coital Guilt:
This condition is more frequent. As long as sex was consensual, and there is no legal or moral reason that intercourse should not have taken place. It is important that some form of investigative therapy is needed. There may be a childhood sexual problem, but more likely that it is thanks to the teachings of authority figures during the formative years.
Masturbation Complex is one of the most common forms of guilt complex, it affects male and female and can cause many other problems for individuals and couples. There is a difference though, males almost never deny that they masturbate whereas females will deny that they masturbate — this is usually believed.
So common it can almost be considered a normal part of sexual life, it can sometimes get out of hand and become completely irrational. The moment it becomes irrational — therapeutic intervention is important.
The issue comes in when it comes to deciding when the behaviour is irrational.
Let’s look at it this way:
1. An individual might observe that their partner has started getting home from work later, has locked their mobile ‘phone so that it cannot be accessed without a PIN, and often wears something that is completely different from their ‘norm’. Anxiety begins and a lot of questions start to be asked…
That is a totally rational jealousy, since there is a new behaviour pattern within which there are novel details that their partner is unwilling or unable to explain.
2. On the other hand, an individual might believe completely without foundation that their partner has a secret lover. No matter that there is nothing to suggest that this is the case; the jealous individual begins to check up on their partner’s behaviour, looking for ‘evidence’. The longer that they go without finding such proof of infidelity, the more angry they might become, and the more they intensify their search believing that they are being made a fool of by their partner and the non-existent lover.
They may hide somewhere in the house whilst pretending to go to work so that they can see who pays a visit; they might ostensibly go out but creep around the outside of the house peering through the windows; they might leave secret tape recorders running or perhaps install hidden cameras. They might even claim that they have been told that their partner was seen with somebody else or even employ a private detective to observe their partner. Whatever they do, they remain unconvinced of their partner’s fidelity.
That behaviour is, of course, irrational but the individual will attempt to rationalise it by stating that they can feel that “something’s going on.” There has usually been some small, completely innocent, trigger that has initiated the belief to begin with but that is often completely forgotten.
Rational or irrational, jealousy carries a powerfully obsessive quality and once it has been triggered it can be all but impossible for the individual to let go of the erroneous belief of infidelity without help.
Handling Rational Jealousy correctly will go a long way in resolving fears.
Irrational Jealous may need some outside help, but the person suffering from this has to have the need and want to not be controlled by it.
It can take many different forms, some have a firm conviction that the partner masturbating is actually engaging in a act of infidelity, to even a rage that they have not waited to share in the experience. Sexual attitudes differ between males and females.
Males tend to be more open to it, while females may have some difficulty. If the female finds out the male is masturbating — it can create a violently angry response and insistence that there will be no sexual activity between them for a long time
In this situation, it refers to constant – often obsessive – painful thoughts and curiosity regarding a partner’s past relationships and/or sexual history. This will lead them to question the past sexual activities and behaviours in previous relationships.
Of all the Male Sexual Problems this is the most common one that people talk about, the inability to achieve or sustain an erect penis for satisfactory sexual intercourse. This condition can be caused either by medication or a psychological problem.
Pelvic Steal is the most psychologically damaging for the male, it is also one of the most common Male Sexual Problems. Primary Erectile Dysfunction suffering male will never have achieved an erection during his waking hours — he may do so while asleep.
This is usually thanks to a physical condition and requires surgery.
In the case of Secondary Erectile Dysfunction (where he was previously able to masturbate) but has now been lost, he can occasionally masturbate at the very least occasionally — sometimes this is not so. In other cases the sufferer may occasionally be able to achieve an erection which may or may not be sustained long enough for sexual intercourse to be completed. Sometimes Viagra™ will do the trick — other times not so.
Where this problem is psychological, profound success can frequently be achieved and even where physiology is involved it is often possible to create some improvement in function.
By far the best solution is to consult with a professional therapist; this particular difficulty is by no means rare.
Premature Ejaculation occurs when a man ejaculates before or too quickly before he or his partner wants; or is ready for a climax to happen. This is sometimes accompanied by a diminished physical sensation.
This statement might seem somewhat sexually-biased and completely disregarding of female needs but it is not. The options are various retraining methods and intervention around the psychological crisis it creates.
The male is able to ejaculate but he will have the tendency to hold on, mostly he might not really know why this situation exists. Yet again for other males it’s about discipline. It is usually voluntary in nature. Sometimes it is accompanied with the inability to let go even if he really wants to.
Many males think and view of this as a strength or discipline. If this is carried out long enough, the usual outcome is RETARDED EJACULATION where they have no conscious control at all, he just simply cannot ‘ejaculate’ during intercourse, no matter how long the intercourse lasts for. This is probably thanks to a conditioned response acquired through years of holding back. Masturbation, however, will often present no such problem.
If there is a real need and want to change it, this can be resolved through therapeutic intervention.
Anxiety is experienced at the attempt of penetration — this results in the loss of the erection. The male suffering from Penetration Anxiety will experience anxiety while attempting penetration, the result is usually partial or total collapse of erection. This problem can be constant or sporadic and it responds well to the correct therapeutic style. It is possible that the problem could be a physical problem i.e Pelvic Steal — if this is the case a medical consultation is essential.
It is usually experienced during or just after ejaculation, it can be due to psychological conditions as well as physical. If it has a psychological nature then the right style of intervention will be successful.
Sometimes caused by a phenomenon called ‘retrograde ejaculation’, many times this is not a dry ejaculation — it can be a result of of a ‘backfire’ where the ejaculate reverses into the bladder.
Possible causes could be because of Prostate Surgery, Diabetes and some medications (especially those used to treat an enlarged prostate gland called benign prostatic hyperplasia).
In this case, a medical consultation is important. Emotional support may be sought for anxiety around this condition while under the medical supervision of a MD.
Lack of drive:
Of all the Male Sexual Problems this one tends to be uncommon and is more prevalent in females. A complete absence or partial lack of drive or wish for sexual activity, Hypoactive desire disorder is one which usually has a medical base.
There may be low levels of testosterone or due to prescription medication. It is important that there is a medical consultation when this condition presents itself.
If the problem is psychological in nature, therapeutic intervention will do a lot to help alleviate the issues.
English Oxford Dictionary defines Fetish as:
“A form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.
It is a sexual fascination with a concept or a object that is not associated with sexual intercourse, most ‘normal’ males has a fetish of some sort and it can take several forms — like ‘Innocent’ which is a sexual fixation with dirty talk, hair or feet.
‘Grey’ tends to more be around an fixation with underwear that have been worn or that belong to somebody other than his/her partner. Group Sex or a threesome also falls under this category. Then there is the ‘Kinky’, it has to do with a fascination with body functions such as observing urination (golden shower) or defecation, mild sadomasochism, anal sex, rubber or ‘pretend rape’.
‘Dark’ is anything that most ‘normal’ individuals would consider as thoroughly disgusting or gross. It usually includes scatology (Smearing or eating faeces), Sadistic bondage, amputees, cutting whipping and in extreme cases killing, vomiting and anal fisting.
If someone truly doesn’t want the fetish, it can be resolved with therapeutic intervention — as long as the individual really genuinely doesn’t want it.
There is no anxiety, but penetration fails. Pelvic Steal require medical attention.
Penetration fails, even though there is no anxiety. When penetration can be accomplished with the female on top, this is physical condition requiring medical treatment
Pelvic Steal mimics Penetration Anxiety, sometimes so well that GP’s may refer the patient for psychiatric or psychotherapeutic help — there are vital differences though that helps us to differentiate between the two.
When it comes to Pelvic Steal, only the lowest level of anxiety (sometimes none) is experienced and is able to penetrate successfully as long as the male is either lying on his side or on his back. The problem is circulatory in nature. Medical attention should always be the first route, any anxiety around the medical process will greatly be alleviated through the help of therapeutic interventions.
This is the case where an erection fails to ‘go down’ and is sustained involuntarily for many hours — it’s not considered a dysfunction but a condition where the erection fails to subside and may last for several days or several hours.
Priapism should get medical attention as soon as possible, delaying it could cause serious problems. The problem can be solved pretty quickly if given the right attention.
Is physical, it is where the penis has a pronounced curve — it is usually upwards thought it can be lateral. The cause of this is due to a plaque growth and surgery is needed to resolve this. Emotional Support is needed if it cause anxiety on a mental/emotional ways. It is not dangerous, but can causes physical and psychological problems.
Are you plagued by one or any of the above Male sexual problems? If the cause is psychological, get in touch with me today for a confidential talk.