When men try to help …
I’m sure if you are in a relationship with a woman (all partners do), that you’ve likely butted head before around various things.
I made a little TikTok video about it the other day.
The gist is this.
When a woman has gone through a bit of a rough day, they don’t really want You to fix it.
What a woman needs in that moment is for You to say “Wow that sucks donkey butt, and I’m so sorry. Here let me hold You.”
And then if You like or your budget allows it. Maybe go out for a dinner or maybe something to drink. (It doesn’t have to be alcohol based, and it doesn’t have to not be alcohol based – depending on what you prefer).
Thing is, Your partner will ask if She needs You to help her fix something.
The most precious gift You have to offer in that moment when She’s feeling the pressure of the world pushing down on her, about to crush her is to be present for her. To let her know that You are there.
Something as simple as gently stroking her hair, her face or her arms can do so much for her if she enjoys that.
I am so grateful to see that we are moving into times where more people are realizing the power of presence in relationships.
And it’s a beautiful evolution to witness.
Ladies – be patient with Your man when he’s the “GOTTA FIX AND GIVE HER ADVICE” type. He just doesn’t know what to do in that moment, and he can’t stand to see you struggling.
A King’s job in your Kingdom is to serve You. He wants You happy. He wants You to not cry and be sad and hurt. And that is why he starts giving advice and why he starts making plans and finding ways to fix it.
This is the time to sit down and to have a heart to heart and to establish guidelines.
I recommend you set a “safe word”. So if You say Pineapple to Your partner during a moment when things get tense – You can trigger the safe word and allow the two of You to regroup. But don’t sweep it under the rug. Come back, and do your best to remain calm.
So let’s say You had a rough day and your partner goes into “fix it mode”, You are allowed in that moment to say the word. And then coming from compassion and love, ask them to instead hug You and hold You and tell You that everything will be okay – if that’s what You want.
Ladies, men don’t do hints. They need clear and practical instructions. “I.e, Honey, please stroke my hair”, speaking about hair and how nice it would be to have yours stroke will go over MOST men’s heads and they won’t even catch the hint.
So come right out with it and make the request. It will save so much time and potential heart aches.
More on communication in the coming blogs 😀
Love
Maryke